I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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