party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
