so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
