I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
