Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
