Kiss
Puke
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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