period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
