I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
