I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
The air taste purple.
Randomize
