Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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