He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
