wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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