This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
