Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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