Heybabeimwearingurpanties
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
