I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
