You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
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