he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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