Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
