ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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