Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
