exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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