Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
