I wish I could teleport
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
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