Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
