your thong is hanging out like whoa
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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