we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
