all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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