perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
