I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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