And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
