I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
