Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
