Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Life is so much better after having sex.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
