First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
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