Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
only you would photoshop your dick
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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