I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
