I just pynch a tree in the face
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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