brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
