yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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