i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
