Me too!
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
the day after is always just damage control
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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