you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
