You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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