I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
did you just send me my own nude
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
