# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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