$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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