i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I am available for nakedness
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
