I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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