what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
