I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
we made out on top of his cat.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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